As I lay in bed that night, I couldn’t get enough sleep, even after the passionate love-making I just had.

I pulled up the blanket to cover my bare chest, looking at him as he snored. He was looking so adorable. Somehow, I was glad I finally did this with him, somehow, I had managed to overcome my sexual problem and somehow that night, I had asked him that night to make love to me….I had wasted time too long.

He hesitated at first, he wanted to know where I had been and what had happened, but I gave him no clue as I quickly undressed in front of him…he couldn’t say no… he had wanted this many years back and this was his chance…he had waited for me but I had given him no chance…

We made love twice that night, and it was beautiful, painful but better than I expected. Even though I cried ….it was a mixture of both pain and pleasure and …..he was a perfect gentleman!

I stood up, dragging the blanket with me to sit in front of the mirror. I sat, starring at my reflection. My face looked swollen and a bit refreshed. I sighed.

Tola… are you sure you are not creating a mess for yourself? A voice said to me..in my head
.

How could I be creating a mess for myself? I have created a mess long time ago and now I am just trying to clear things up.

My husband raped an innocent girl and not only that, he murdered her! What kind of a monster was he? Musa said they had talked about Benita the night of the rape. He said Henry had denied all his accusations but he could tell he was lying because his face had brightened up when he mentioned the name!

Then he had lied about his NYSC pictures, I still thought of why he would lie about that. Maybe there were lots of things he wasn’t even telling me to hide his crime!

Well, in the morning I would pack my stuff while Felix handles everything about our travelling. I still have my passport which we had made before his NYSC. I would get the divorce papers and give to Henry as soon as possible.

“Hey Beauty….”

I turned to the man beside me, he was unashamed of his nakedness and he put his arm around my neck as we looked at each other in the mirror.

“I miss you my love…”

“I miss you too Felix….”
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*2hrs later*

I met Henry sleeping on the settee in the living room, I had used my own key to get in so I didn’t have to wake him.

He looked exhausted and there were two empty bottles of Vodka on the table. The house smelt like someone had poured alcohol everywhere.

I placed my bag quietly on the table and began to observe him. Maybe I never loved this man after all, maybe I had actually been too hasty in jumping into a relationship with him but I had actually loved him…at some point or maybe so I thought.

The blanket covering him had dropped to the floor and there were some pictures littered all around the cushion in which he was sleeping.

I could see Benita’s face in one of them and others were Henrys pictures with Felix, while they were still serving.

I sighed, I had no interest in stressing myself any further, he had lied and it was too late for any redemption.

My phone vibrated, it was a message from Kate. She told me not to make any drastic decision yet…I ignored her, it was my life and she had actually tried for me but she could mind her business now.

Just then, Henry stirred and his eyes opened slowly but on sighting me, he became wide awake and stood up immediately.

“My love where have you been? I have searched everywhere for you!”

I said nothing but was just looking at him.

How could I have married such a monster? How was I so deceived and blinded by stupid emotions!
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“I am here now…Henry.” I replied, emotionlessly.

Perhaps, he could feel the hatred that was radiating from me towards him, because he immediately went on his knees.

“Baby, I meant it when I said I love you …I can never trade you for anything…I got so scared I kept secret from you. I did it because I didn’t want to lose you!”

I smiled. “That is a lame excuse Henry. I do not need your apologies anymore, I know the truth. I went to Kano to find out things by myself and I know what you did!” This time, my voice was quavering. “How could you do that Henry? You did this to me…to us! You thought all the nice things you were doing would actually entice me and distract me from suspecting you? How stupid do you think I am? ”

He clasped both hands together as he knelt.

“Baby…I know.. I am sorry. I did this to protect us so you won’t think I am a monster…”

‘But you are Henry! You are a monster! I should never have agreed to marry you! I should have waited and forgiven Felix!”

At this he frowned. “What are you talking about?”

“Yes Henry. You are not the only one keeping a secret. Gosh! This is so messed up!”

I began to recount what had happened between Felix and I before I met him but I left out what happened last night.

I could see the hurt and disappointment building inside of him but I could care less. We had both deceived each other. It was better we go our different ways.

“You and Felix were in love before we met? Neither of you cared to tell me?” He said slowly and weakly.

“You have no right to be angry right now Henry. You did me a favor by keeping such a secret from me so I could be with the right person. You are something else Henry! How could you keep quiet? How were you able to live?”

“Keep quiet!” He shouted at me, now standing up. “You and Felix? Baby, I would never have loved you lesser if you had told me. It would not change the way I feel about you. I love you so much.”

“Well, you lost me ever since you started hiding the truth from me. I was raped because of you Henry! Did you actually believe I would never find out!

You didn’t even think that one day you will also have a daughter? Do you know the problem the family faces now because of you!”

He was more sober now as he bit his lips in deep regret, he was also sweating but my phone rang and I ignored. It must be Felix and I had no intention of picking.

“So, what do you want to do now?” He finally asked. “Can you forgive me so I can also forgive you? I believe our love is strong and we can overcome this trial.”

I scoffed. ‘Never Henry! Not on your life! I slept with Felix last night so that we will never have the chance to come back together!”

At first, he stared at me without blinking….then he looked away as if he was trying to analyse what I just said.

“You slept with Felix?”

“Yes Henry. You raped a girl and I slept with your friend, You killed that poor girl and you rendered the family powerless!”

He looked lost and attempted to sit down. Then he held his head in his two hands as he looked down.

“I didn’t kill anyone…” He was muttering to himself and my phone rang again but I still ignored.

“You killed the girl after you gave her the drugs henry. Stop lying!”

He looked up and sat akimbo, still looking confused.

“I am going inside to pack my stuff Henry! We are so done! I will never be with you, you this cold murderer!”

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