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“The Two Wise Men” (Too Funny)
“The Two Wise Men” (Too Funny)

Short Story: "The Two Wise Men"

    So when I got back from work this evening, my wife told me that she quarrelled with my neighbour’s wife. I was very shocked. This was the first time such a thing was happening. Both women had lived in peace since we parked in.

    So I asked her what the problem was. My wife told me it was because of the rope where we dry clothes. My wife wanted to dry her clothes and my neighbor’s wife wanted to dry her own clothes.

    One thing one thing led to confrontation, and small thing one person said you insulted me and something something led to quarrel.

    The husband of my neighbour’s wife returned as I was still talking with my wife. And the hot-tempered wife of my neighbour began to shout at her husband.

    “You better go and warn her husband to warn her. Go and warn the husband to warn his wife or else.”
    My wife wanted to go out to confront her but I held her back.

    “I am home now. Don’t go outside.”

    “If you won’t allow me to go, then you better go out and tell her husband to tell his wife to shut her mouth or else I will come for her. Go now and tell him. Go and tell him o.”

    My wife was very angry. She entered the bedroom in anger.

    I opened the parlour door to peep outside, at that moment I saw my neighbour also opening the door to come out. I thought the man was coming to warn me as his wife instructed. But he didn’t. He came to me and said.

    “Uncle Praises, I am sure you have heard about the drama.”
    I nodded.

    “Yes, I have.”

    “My wife is very wild. I will not sleep this night if I don’t do what she wants. She has asked me to warn you. I don’t know if we can just act the drama small. I will warn you and you will beg me to calm down. So I can go in and sleep well.”

    “Ha no na. If you warn me and I start begging you, you will be sleeping well in your house and my wife will think I don’t have power. She will insult me all night for begging you. Your wife will think you are more superior.”

    “So what do we do now?”

    “Let us warn each other. You will warn me and I will warn you. When we warn each other seriously, we then go inside the house and we both can sleep. That way both women will know we stood for them.”

    My neighbour agreed and we started the fire.

    I warned him very seriously. He also started warning me. Soon we were shouting at the top of our voices. His wife came out of the house and my wife also came out. He ran to carry Hoe, I followed the backyard and brought a machete. My wife started begging me to go inside. His wife was also begging him to drop the hoe.

    That was how we both entered inside the house and locked the door.

    There was silence in the compound.

    My wife kept rubbing my chest and telling me to calm down. While she was still rubbing my chest and head my neighbor sent me a text.

    “It worked o. Thank you, sir.”

    I told my wife to fetch me cold water to drink.

    When she stood up, I replied back.

    “You owe me a bottle of drink.”

    I was still typing my message when my wife shouted from the kitchen.

    “But Praises, you have hot temper o. Small rope quarrel women are having, you carried machete.”

    THE END!!!

    Written By Praises Chidera


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